Pumping at 2AM? You're Not the Only One Hearing Weird Things

It’s 2am. You’re hunched over, half-awake, trying to make sense of the suction rhythm coming from your breast pump… and suddenly, your brain swears it’s chanting “mashed potatoes.”

You’re not alone.

One client told me her pump nags her to “do your taxes.”Another swears it’s whispering “where’s my charger?”And recently? A mama said all she hears is “more milk” in a creepy little robot voice.

These sleep-deprived moments are part of a bigger pattern I hear all the time- pumping struggles for moms that go beyond milk output. It’s the mental load, the isolation, the middle-of-the-night loops your brain plays while your body does the work.

Here’s the thing no one really prepares you for: pumping can feel robotic, repetitive, and weirdly lonely. And sometimes a little humor (and a whole lot of support) is what gets you through.

That’s why I offer pumping consultations, but not the one-size-fits-all kind. Together, we customize a plan that fits you: your lifestyle, your schedule, your body, and your goals. Whether you’re exclusively pumping, combo feeding, or just trying to build a stash before heading back to work, you shouldn’t have to figure it out alone.

We’re building a whole dictionary of pump delusions around here... but we’re also building confidence, clarity, and sanity back into the process.

Because if your pump is going to chant nonsense, at least let your plan make sense.

🍼 Ready for a consult that meets you where you are?

Schedule your pumping consultation here. I’d love to hear your story, and maybe decode what your pump is saying too.